F. Emasculata 2×22: This is Smokey and the Bandit.

Hey, Mister…

“F. Emasculata” is famous for being one of the grossest, if not the grossest episode that The X-Files has ever done. It even outdoes “The Host” (2×2). Whatever synapses are misfiring in my brain, I actually love this episode for its gratuitous distaste. I scrunch up my mouth and watch through my fingers every time.

This episode relies largely on the distrust of Big Pharma that was pervasive in the ‘90s. Who are we kidding? It still is. Somehow, it’s easy to believe that a big, faceless corporation would be willing to subject the human race to anything to build its empire. We Americans in particular are distrustful of any large concentration of power and money. I’m only touching on this lightly, but it’s exactly that collective fear that is at the heart of the mythology; there’s a small group of men hoarding their power and saving themselves at the expense of the little guy.

I have to say I had forgotten how much overlap there was in early seasons between the overarching mythology and minor, mini conspiracies perpetrated by the Federal Government. CSM is back for the first time since “One Breath” (2×8) not because extraterrestrials are involved but to give the goings on in this episode a diabolical edge. Enjoyable as it is to see him, I’m not so sure his presence serves the plot. Scully later reiterates everything he says but in a less sinister fashion and with more conviction. Regardless, once again the government is running secret tests on innocent civilians only this time they have a partner.

Those who have been following for a while know that I refer to these types of episodes as “Half-Caff” X-Files. They’re not paranormal or supernatural, instead there’s a science or technology that the government is trying desperately to control. “Ghost in the Machine” (1×6) was the first of its species. I enjoy these types because they tend to be a little more scientific. “F. Emasculata” is not. The science of the disease is never explained. Why should it have been? The thrill isn’t in discovering its cause it’s in watching those horrible boils explode.

Speaking of a lack of science, how can Scully possibly be as stupid as she’s presented??? She’s a doctor. She knows that germs can be spread in a multitude of ways, yet in the face of a contagion whose method of communication is unknown, she opens up a sealed body bag with only a pair of gloves and a cheap mask. If it’s bad enough that the bodies are being incinerated, it’s bad enough that you should put on a containment suit, woman. And then she takes off her mask!! I’m incredulous, that’s what I am. If we’re going to be perfectly honest, it’s because of Scully’s recklessness that Dr. Osbourne dies.

Maybe to make up for the sheer lunacy of her actions in that scene, we later get a glimpse of Heroic Scully. Why does Scully keep from Mulder that she might be dying? Either that’s too heavy a conversation to have over the phone and/or she knows Mulder would stop what he’s doing and go to her rather than put his full effort into stopping this thing. Even if Scully’s stupid, she is sweet.

On a last film school-related note, much of this episode is filmed in shadow. I know, I know. That’s pretty much every episode of The X-Files. But even more so here, when CSM first appears on the scene, he’s filmed almost entirely in the dark except for his eyes. At other moments, actors are lit from a single light source such as the fire from the incinerator or a slot through a cell door creating a heightened sense of tension and drawing our minds away from any holes the story might have. It’s no surprise that we have Rob Bowman to thank for this.


How much should people know? Does the public have a right to know everything? Does knowledge always help, or can it sometimes endanger? “You can’t protect the public by lying to it.” Oh, Mulder, you know better. At least Scully is able to talk some sense into him. This means CSM was right too, for once. Could he be right when it comes to the mythology as well?? If you take it as a whole, “F. Emasculata” is arguing for full disclosure, only I’ll give it credit for acknowledging the risk involved.

Now, while I thoroughly enjoy this episode I’ll be the first to tell you that the whole premise is faulty. Mulder claims Pink Pharmaceuticals conducted this secret experiment to avoid having to go through years of FDA trials and get their drug on the market faster. The whole point of FDA trials, first of all, is that they are a line of defense between manufacturers and the American public that can’t be circumvented; you have to show proof of all your collected data. Ergo, a secret experiment is useless when it comes to getting FDA approval. But what really gets me is that I don’t know what Mulder’s on about since there’s no drug being tested at all! So what would they get approved? They’re spreading a disease just to see what it will do, to understand the science behind it (which vaguely reminds me of the Tuskegee Experiments). It’s not a stretch to conclude that they’re creating a problem so that they’ll have a jump on the competition in learning how to solve it and eventually earn themselves revenue. But there are some serious variables involved before that can happen, as the events of this episode bear out.

I bet you think after all that griping I’m about to downgrade this episode. How could I do that when I enjoy it so much? So the plot has some pitfalls. Whatever excuse they need to bring me those boils a-poppin’ is just fine.



Wouldn’t Pink or the government have warned the U.S. Marshalls that there’s a contagion? These escaped men pose a threat to their testing as they’re outside of the focus group and unmonitored. The situation is tumbling out of control, something they don’t want because that would only draw more attention to what they’re doing. You would think that they’d make more of an effort to contain the situation by preventing others from being infected, if only so that no one would catch on to what’s actually happening.


It’s interesting to see Dean Norris (U.S. Marshall) in his younger days before Breaking Bad, a series he stars in that’s written and created by fellow X-Files alum Vince Gilligan. Plug.

Best Quotes:

Scully: According to the briefing, prisoners escaped by hiding in a laundry cart.
Mulder: I don’t think the guards are watching enough prison movies.


Smoking Man: In 1988 there was an outbreak of hemorrhagic fever in Sacramento California. The truth would have caused panic. Panic would have cost lives. We control the disease by controlling the information.
Mulder: You can’t protect the public by lying to them.
Smoking Man: It’s done every day.
Mulder: I won’t be a party to it. [To Skinner] What about you?
Smoking Man: You’re already a party to it. How many people are being infected while you stand here not doing your job? Ten? Twenty? What’s the truth, Agent Mulder?


Mulder: What about you? Where do you stand?
Skinner: I stand right on the line that you keep crossing.


Skinner: Agent Mulder, I’m saying this as a friend. Watch your back. This is just the beginning.

19 responses to “F. Emasculata 2×22: This is Smokey and the Bandit.

  1. Those popping boils were one of the grossest things i have ever seen in TV. It kicked ass !!
    THis was a GREAT episode, one of those who have everything : Action, a good plot, a conspiracy, the creep-out factor ….

    Good job at noticing Dean Norris, when i watched this episode again like last year, after watching all episodes of Breaking Bad, i said to myself (when seeing the US Marshall) “I know this guy … but from where ?” and then boom it all came back to me 🙂

  2. “Half caff” X Files? Hmm, I like this term.

    This is a great episode, essentially The X Files in action movie mode and the final confrontation on the bus must surely rank as one of the show’s most suspenseful moments.

  3. I was so, so psyched by this episode. I had forgotten it entirely from my previous (see: first) full watch-though of the X-Files about 4 years ago. From this point onward though, it’s earned a spot among the best of the best.

    Conceding the pitfalls of the plot is a minor thing, as you could easily imagine a more plausible setup with an identical outcome, so it’s a no-harm no-foul type of situation. None of the story elements rely on the shaky backstory, so I can get over it pretty quick.

    The dynamic between Mulder on the manhunt and Scully working the science is not unique to this episode, but F. Emasculata does it the best thus far.

    I actually come down in favor of the Half-Calf episode. On the one hand, it (the mythology aspect) can seem a little tacked on, but consider the converse: if the conspiracy is really as wide-reaching as we’re led to believe, it makes sense that you can’t investigate weird things every episode and not trip over it inadvertently once in a while.

    *Still a little shell-shocked over how awesome this episode was!*

  4. I fully agree with all three of you guys. This is definitely one of my Season 2 favorites. And that’s saying a lot because I love Season 2.

    @Tom: Exactly. Since the pharmaceutical company’s motivations don’t really matter at all Mulder’s tacked on explanation at the end carries little weight and doesn’t derail the episode. Frankly, they could have done it just for the heck of it.

  5. Emily Michelle

    Oh my gosh, those boils. I always watch this episode in horrified fascination–it’s disgusting but I don’t want to look away.

  6. I’m with the crowd – one of the best episodes of season 2. I think it really sets a tone for season 3 (and beyond) with that meeting with Skinner at the end. Also, this episode is probably one of the grossest of the whole series, IMO. LOL.

  7. You missed one of the best quotes. Mulder says to snarky balding U.S. Marshal:

    “Kids got a lot of hair. Probably absorbed the blow.”

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  12. I’m at work and we currently can’t leave our bullpen because of some airborne disease that they won’t let us know what it is, and ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS THIS EPISODE!!! Of course they had to have the disgusting, exploding contagion episode take place in a prison, of course.

    Number 586 of ‘How Chris Carter Ruined My Life.’

  13. Fun fact! My family still refers to giant zits offhandedly as “F. Emasculata boils.” It’s one of our favorite episodes, so much that it entered our lexicon.

  14. I have to agree, this is the grossest episode, and I love it. The opening scene always makes me feel a bit queasy.

    But the one thing that has alway annoyed me, and can’t get over, is just how stupid and irresponsible Scully is when investigating those bodies. Her lack of precaution sticks up like a saw thumb, and I get angry at her because she is responsible for Osbourne’s death. Got to say, he was a lot more forgiving about it than I would have been. >.>

    • Really though. She was uncharacteristically stupid. And you would think Dr. Osbourne would’ve gotten angry for at least a minute, but I guess he went straight from being shocked to being resigned.

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  16. This may be six or seven years too late lol, but after recently rewatching it this is probably my favorite scene between Mulder and CSM right afte One Breath. It’s so beautifully shot and well acted with the music on point. I like how the show just ominously hints at the “originator of the case” during the first half hour and then seconds starts off the second half with “What is the accusation Agent Mulder…?”

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