War of the Coprophages 3×12: Dude, that’s some good crap.

"Waste is a Terrible Thing to Waste."

First of all, that opening monologue from the exterminator about the wonders of cockroaches is more satisfying than any purple prose ridden voiceover Mulder or Scully ever delivered. Once again writer Darin Morgan plays off of what we’ve come to expect from The X-Files by giving it to us and then flipping it over. But unlike the previous two Darin Morgan penned episodes, I’m not sure the underlying purpose/theme here is so clear.

Humbug” (2×20) juxtaposed normalcy versus otherness and “Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose” (3×4) covered fate versus free will. “War of the Coprophages”, while it hints at the fine line between reality and insanity, doesn’t explore the themes so much as it mocks them. Since we can’t be sure of what happened, it’s hard to condemn the people of Massachusetts for panicking when they very well may have had reason to. Overall, I’d have to concede that this episode isn’t quite as successful as his other ones. But it’s still incredibly fun.

The whole episode is an exercise in glorious repetition. Mulder seeks Scully out for her insight, Mulder hangs up on Scully. Mulder comes upon another body that was attacked by cockroaches, Scully comes up with another reasonable explanation. Mulder quotes Planet of the Apes… Bambi quotes Planet of the Apes. Not only that, as I said earlier, Morgan deftly plays with X-Files stereotypes. Mulder’s always ditching Scully and leaving her hanging, well, here it’s an almost compulsive ritual. And no matter how absurd and inexplicable the death Mulder stumbles upon, Scully comes up with an even more random and infinitely more plausible explanation.

So now for the oft discussed question: Is Scully jealous? To which I answer: It’s there, ever so slightly. It’s all in the way Scully says “She?” when she finds out Dr. Berenbaum is a woman. Dana Scully, M.D. surely wasn’t surprised at the idea that a scientist could be a woman. No, never that. Instead I think there was a sudden realization of what Mulder was actually up to while she slept restlessly with her phone on her pillow. Not that there’s anything to go overboard about. Any woman would be annoyed by that. And when Mulder asks to confess something to Scully, something both she and we as the audience suspect is going to be sexual in nature, she looks worried she’s about to be grossed out. She doesn’t look jealous, sad or angry. As for Mulder, once again, he’s flirting with another woman while confessing his fears and insecurities to Scully. It’s sort of like “Fire” (1×11) all over again. Poor Mulder. Like his relationship with Phoebe Green, he should’ve known it would never work; she’s not haunted, abandoned or misunderstood. With the exception of Scully, he doesn’t have an easy time connecting with well-adjusted women.

Not that I’m on his side. I myself want to kill him for leaving Scully hanging in a state of near panic but I’m so busy laughing that I can’t stay mad. She’s thinking he’s been attacked by killer cockroaches and meanwhile he’s macking on an entomologist named Bambi. I’d say you can’t make this stuff up but Darin Morgan apparently can.


If this episode has a weakness it’s the lack of resolution. I know that’s one of The X-Files’ signature moves, but here we finish watching completely unsure whether the events even really happened. There are too many cockroach swarms for it all to be a coincidence, yet all the deaths have normal explanations. More importantly, where did the metal insects come from, why did they converge on this town and what made them leave? Who created these mechanical marvels? In the end, the unanswered questions are no big deal because it’s such a jolly ride.

It’s fun to see how Scully spends her evenings for one thing. She cleans her gun, eats dinner while watching the news, gives Queequeg a bath, reads a little Truman Capote and eats a tub of ice cream by herself. It’s so hilariously domestic considering she spends her working hours chasing flukemen and such. Scully had a few off episodes not too long ago, “Oubliette” (3×8) comes to mind. But between this and “Revelations” (3×11), her character is on the fast track to respectability again. Morgan’s version of her is both loveable and feisty. What a relief.

I’ll admit that the last moment between Mulder and Scully still annoys me a bit. He has his nerve. So Mulder loses the girl and Scully rubs his nose in it. But you know what? He deserves it.


Random Musings:

The area is in a panic. The townsfolk are raiding the convenience store. There’s a Sailor stocking up on… pantyhose??

Bill Dow AKA Dr. Chuck Burks is back, only this time as Dr. Newton.

Ken Kramer AKA Dr. Berube AKA Dr. Browning is back too, only this time as Dr. Ivanov.

Scully’s vehement defense of the theory of Evolution feels slightly odd coming straight off of “Revelations”.

Best Quotes:

*Editor’s Note: You know the drill. It’s a Darin Morgan episode. Quotes won’t suffice. Break out your DVDs or pull up Netflix and get started.

Scully: Hello.
Mulder: I think you better get up here.
Scully: What is it?
Mulder: It appears that cockroaches are mortally attacking people.
Scully: I’m not going to ask if you just said what I think you just said because I know it’s what you just said.


Mulder: I see the correlation, but just because I work for the federal government doesn’t mean I’m an expert on cockroaches.


Mulder: Well, that all makes perfect sense, Scully, I don’t like it at all. Did you know that the federal government, under the guise of the department of agriculture, has been conducting secret experiments up here.
Scully: Mulder, you’re not thinking about trespassing on government property again, are you? I know you’ve done it in the past but I don’t think this case warrants…
Mulder: It’s too late. I’m already inside.


Mulder: They’re conducting legitimate experiments. I met an entomologist, a Dr. Berenbaum, who agrees with your theory of an accidental importation of a new cockroach.
Scully: Did he give you any idea of how to catch them?
Mulder: No, but she did tell me everything else there was to know about insects.
Scully: She?
Mulder: Yeah, did you know that the ancient Egyptians worshipped the scarab beetle and possibly erected the pyramids to honor them? Which may be giant symbolic dung heaps?
Scully: Did you know the inventor of the flush toilet was named Thomas Crapper?
Mulder: Bambi also has a theory I’ve never come across…
Scully: Who?
Mulder: Dr. Berenbaum. Anyway her theory is…
Scully: Her name is Bambi?
Mulder: Yeah, both her parents were naturalists. Her theory is that UFOs are actually nocturnal insect swarms passing through electrical air fields.
Scully: Her name is Bambi?
Mulder: Scully, can I confess something to you?
Scully: [Wincing] Yeah, sure, okay…
Mulder: I hate insects.
Scully: You know, lots of people are afraid of insects, Mulder. It’s a natural instinctive…
Mulder: No, no, no. I’m not afraid of them. I hate them. One day, back when I was a kid, I was climbing this tree when I noticed this leaf walking towards me. It took forever for me to realize that it was no leaf.
Scully: A praying mantis?
Mulder: Yeah, I had a praying mantis epiphany and as a result, I screamed. And not, not a girlie scream, but the scream of someone being confronted by some before unknown monster that had no right existing on the same planet I inhabited. Did you ever notice how a praying mantis’ head resembles an alien’s head? The mysteries of the natural world were revealed to me that day but instead of being astounded I was repulsed.
Scully: Mulder… are you sure it wasn’t a girlie scream?


Dr. Ivanov: Anyone who thinks alien visitation will come not in the form of robots but of living beings with big eyes and grey skin has been brainwashed by too much science fiction.


Mulder: Scully, if an alien civilization were technologically advanced enough to build and send artificially intelligent robotic probes to the farthest reaches of space, might they not have also been able to perfect the extraction of methane fuel from manure? An abundant and replenishing energy source on a planet filled with dung-producing creatures?
Scully: Mulder, I think you’ve been in this town too long.


Scully: Let me guess… Bambi.
Dr. Berenbaum: Fox told me to wait out here while he checked inside first.
Scully: [Mouths] Fox.
Dr. Berenbaum: Should I come along with you?
Scully: [Loads gun] No. This is no place for an entomologist.

17 responses to “War of the Coprophages 3×12: Dude, that’s some good crap.

  1. “Another cockroach attack !”
    “Welcome to planet Earth.”

    Freaking classic episode.

  2. “In the end, the unanswered questions are no big deal because it’s such a jolly ride.”

    Yeah, I can’t disagree with that sentiment, it’s great fun, I don’t think it actually amounts to much, Humbug was scarier, Bruckman was more moving and Jose Chung is ingenious, I think Coprophages is just an excersise in fun, great set pieces, brilliant lines of dialogue and one of the best running jokes in an episode and you that running joke is so good when Stephen King steals it for his own episode.

    • I get the feeling that with another edit or two, Morgan would have had his 3rd masterpiece on the show. It’s fun, but the motivation behind the episode is a little murky.

  3. I went back and watched this episode again after reading your comments. I had forgotten how funny it was.

    I don’t think Scully comes out very well in Darin Morgan’s story. Mulder spoils her weekend by his constant calls, then leaves her hanging. She finds out that he is working a case (probably an X-File) without her. Then she learns that he is working with Dr. Bambi. Finally she is almost blown up and covered with manure. The coup-de-grace is when Mulder tells her she smells bad (that was a low blow, but really funny).

    • Ah, she doesn’t exactly have the best time, but I think she’s much more well-rounded and fun to watch than she is in episodes like “The Walk” and “The List”!

  4. How did NO ONE mention the roach that crawls across the screen?! The was one of the most genius moves as far as production goes, and it gets me every time.

    That aside, I did take issue with Scully’s dismissal of extraterrestrial life on a Darwinian basis. She, as a student of physics and science at large, should have a better understanding than most of the sheer SIZE of the universe. Her assertion that intelligent life is an accident of probability, coupled with vast expanse of the known universe, should lead one to the inescapable conclusion that there is a small, but finite likelihood of intelligent life elsewhere.

    Also: Great episode DM, etc. etc.

    • Ack! I knew there was something I forgot to mention. I introduced my brother to this episode this time around and that random roach cracked him up.

  5. PorElAmordeequis

    Hi! New to the blog and on a current X-files binge. This is one of my favorite episodes. I just think if it was late at night after a long day, this would be a light way to pass the time. I just wanted to ask: Did anyone else notice that possible jab/mockery of M&S profile shots when Dr. Berenbaum and Mulder are looking at a cockroach through a large lens? I loved that, “oh no they didn’t moment!”. Anyway, I love this blog!!! Your reviews are awesome.

  6. You are right not much comes to a conclusion in this episode or even close but has so many great one liners – so funny – I love it when Mulder and Scully banter back and forth. In the behind the xfiles Darin Morgan said GA had a lot of prommotional work on that week so all of her scenes had to be shot in a day thats why he did the over the phone thing. I was watching this episode a while ago, lying on the floor under a blanket and a cockroach ran across the blanket over me – I kid you not!! it wasn’t funny


  7. Pingback: Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster 10×3: I forgot how much fun these cases could be. | Musings of an X-Phile

  8. She did get the “not now” in between the hang up inside the house and the next morning when Mulder calls her and has the “confession” conversation.

  9. This is more like Bad Blood than either Bruckman or Jose Chung. Actually, I think WOTC is better than Bad Blood.

  10. Just a fun little self-parody, what’s not to love? As a side note, I’m glad nobody names their kids “Bambi” anymore.

  11. Is it just me or is that Kim Cattrall from Sex in the City as the blonde customer fighting over the last can of insecticide in the garage?

  12. Hi! I hope you are continuing your blogging/reflections into the final episodes of a new (possibly last) season. Love reading these.

    Just finished rewatching the WOTC for the third time and laughed my a** off… I think, I actually got what DM was trying to convey, and it is spelled out in Mulder’s last monologue. For all our thinking that we are the superior race, we are governed by our primitive instincts. And we hope to develop something more advanced using the technology, is it possible that the intellect of the alien beings on the other planets has already surpassed our own? And if it did, would it react to us the same way we react to the cockroaches? (when paralleled with exterminators opening monologue it equates us vs cockroaches, to us vs aliens).

    Thats my view on it, anyway

  13. Did you catch the line in this episode by the cop that I’m 99% certain is where they got the idea for the killer bees? I literally died when I went back and watched this one today.

  14. Sailors from the WWII era often stocked up on nylon stockings and chocolate before visiting a foreign port. These were purchased for the girls they would find in port cities. Kind of a gift/bribe. What it has to do with War of the Coprophages, I’ll never know.

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